Monday, 25 June 2018

Look for a reason to smile #WriteBravely #LiveHappily

"In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and - snap! - the job's a game!" - Mary Poppins



When Tom Sawyer got other boys to paint the fence for him, and made money out of it too, the secret was making the job fun. So, Mary Poppins certainly had that fact right.

From drinking milk to finishing the food, from cleaning the room to getting reading on time, from studying to helping in chores, I have many memories from my childhood, and then from my parenting days that corroborate Mary Poppins' shrewd words.

Do these words hold as true for the jobs that the grown-ups hold, is a point of contention now?
The important words to be noticed are 'must be done'. So, the message for each of us here is, if there is something in which you don't have a choice, look for the element of fun in it. There is bound to be something - the work itself, the ones you share it with, the reason that you are doing it - that would make you smile through it.

The bottom line - Smile.

Sunday, 24 June 2018

Choose to live life #WriteBravely #LiveBravely

"The past can hurt. 
But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it" 
- Rafiki's wise words to Simba in The Lion King

You can either run from the past or learn from it.
Or maybe just accept it, and move on.

There are things one has no control over.

In the afternoon today, while driving for lunch with my family, I had stopped my car just before the pedestrian crossing at the traffic light.
Within a few seconds, other vehicles had passed mine to stop on the pedestrian crossing, or even farther up. 
Nothing new there. I experience it all the time.

And then a banner with faces of politicians - one big, multiple small - printed on it fell on my car.

Things fall on cars - I read about a crane falling and killing the driver of a car waiting at the traffic light.
One of the first things I heard this morning was about a midnight sprawl the night before that ended in the death of a 22-year-old.

That is what I thought of at that time. The uncertainty, that experience teaches us, is scary.

Learn from the past, yes.
Accept the fact that you have to choose not to be scared, even when you don't have control.

The past hurts. And it teaches.
Embrace it, with all its smiles and frowns.
And choose to live life.

#WriteBravely and #LiveBravely



Prompt by and Shared with-

Thursday, 18 January 2018

Who watches Bigg Boss?

Who watches Big Boss?

I ask this question because it seems like hardly anyone I know says that they watch this show that made it to the Top 10 list of the most-watched Hindi Entertainment shows. So, no one I know, besides a couple of close relatives, who don't hide this fact (and me), watched Bigg Boss 11.

An acquaintance of mine recently told me about a male friend of hers who is on a quest to find a girl to tie the matrimonial knot with. She went on to passionately rant about how exasperated he is. One of the reasons for his not liking a female is if she watches Bigg Boss.
Now that this season is over, I was imagining this guy getting married in the next couple of months, and getting the shock of his life when, a few months later, his wife would be watching Bigg Boss every single night.

This rant continued to haunt me. The looking down on anyone who watches a Hindi TV serial, or God forbid, Bigg Boss seems extremely snobbish.
The English TV shows are great, I agree (at least, the few that I have watched). But does your choice of entertainment make you superior?

And who is watching it anyway, as I first asked? How many closet 'Bigg Boss watchers' am I surrounded by?

By the way, kids don't seem to have any issues in admitting that they watch it. My son (17) and daughter (12) tell me that it is one of the hot topics of discussion in the School Bus. They feel the need to be at least familiar with the contestants and the going-ons in the notorious house, so as not to feel left out.
Wrong, I know. The show is not for kids. But this is the reality that I face about this reality show.

Can we paint every single person who watches a particular TV show with the same brush, is really the question I am asking.




Friday, 20 October 2017

The right and wrong of choices #WriteBravely

"You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both" - Brene Brown

And it is ok to choose comfort. 

This is my first instinct when I read this quote. Not because I don't feel that choosing courage is the wrong choice, but because it is implied that one should choose courage.

Ideally, we would all choose courage and lead perfect lives. 

"Life is unfair" - such a clichè and so very true.
As true as the facts that the world is imperfect, the destiny is not in our control, and that life is uncertain.
"You get what anybody gets - you get a lifetime" - Neil Gaiman

I think my instinctive reaction of 'it is ok to choose comfort' comes from my being a mother. I have spent years counseling my kids that at times, you choose what is right for you. 

Many a time I feel happier waiting rather than taking any immediate action.
And waiting takes a lot of courage.

So, yes make the choice between courage and comfort. Choose courage even. 
But decide for yourself what is courageous.
Do not let the world decide it for you.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."

Choosing serenity over courage is not always the courageous choice. At times, it is the wise choice. 
And being wise comes from not having choices.

One of the quotes about courage that Brene Brown mentions as her own favorite is by Oprah Winfrey:
"You get in this life what you have the courage to ask for"

Choose for yourself. Do not judge others. 
What you perceive as ‘comfort’ may have been the courageous choice for them.

©Nimi Arora

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Monday, 16 October 2017

Disobedience #writetribeproblogger #writebravely

The basic thought of this post comes from something I read. 
Was it a quote? Was it an article? Maybe an interview? I don't remember. 
If you have read about this, and know the source, please tell me in the comments below. Thanks.


Disobedience in children is not always a problem. 
When I discuss with other mothers about the fact that 'kids don't listen', 'they never agree to anything', etc., I often repeat 'it's good to say no'.

To survive in this cruel world, it is important to be able to say 'no', to be able to disagree, to stand one's own ground.
The first place our children learn to do that is at home. With us, the poor, clueless parents.

If our children did everything we asked them to, if they never chose to stand up against us, imagine the spineless individuals they would grow up to be.

Parenting is about teaching the little monsters to balance between the (hopefully) many yeses and few nos, and to disagree without being rude.
Parenting is also about bowing down to the younger lot often enough for them to know that we consider them as individuals and not as extensions of ourselves.
After all, they is going to be disobedience anyway. 
We may, just as well, make the best of it.


Friday, 13 October 2017

Bated Breath - Flash Fiction

I don’t think I really understood the meaning of ‘Bated Breath’ before. Just as I had whispered into her ear ‘I love you’, her brother had cut into the dance. The look in his eye told me that he could sense the life-changing tension between his sister and me. I moved to the back of the room.
Our eyes met across the room. She smiled.
The brother looked around to see who she was smiling at, saw me, and scowled.
I grinned.



©Nimi Arora



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Monday, 9 October 2017

A place to call home - Count Your Blessings #4

The word 'Terminal' reminds me of Tom Hanks and his long, unplanned stay at the airport... Yes, the movie, The Terminal.
The prompt, Terminal of Write Tribe Problogger challenge had me instantly thinking of the movie.

Because the movie ends on a positive note, much of the anxiety that I had felt during the movie drained off. 
That is why I love my movies (and books) to have happy endings. Tragic stories, and even more so, the ones with cliffhanger endings have me restless. The duration of the restlessness depends on how much I loved the story in question.

Back to The Terminal...
The man is without country. When I watched the movie for the first time, I thought of my grandfather telling about his experience as a refugee after the partition.
The anger was obvious in his words, even decades after the experience - "We were refugees in our own country".

What is it like to be without country, without home, without a place to go back to at night...

Another instance when I close my eyes and say a quick thanks to God, to universe.



When I wrote the first 'Count Your Blessings' post on my blog, it was because I was feeling grateful. And feeling a little guilty about feeling so.
It was about consciously putting into words the many blessings of life.

The problem I am facing now is that almost anything I start writing about ends up being a 'Count Your Blessings' post. Not how I planned it, but I am not complaining.

©Nimi Arora


Count Your Blessings...
#1 The Luxury to Mourn
#2 Pattern of our Choosing
#3 The simple times


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