Skip to main content

Truth at the grave... 'Sachchai Mein Chain'

I walked on briskly, single-mindedly. There was a restlessness in me. The restlessness of expectation of something too good to be true.

I was dreaming impossible dreams. No, they are possible, I corrected my own thoughts.

Despite my efforts to not think about it, my mind was giving me teasing glimpses of my future with Ajay. A future of beautiful possibilities and smiles.

As I entered the office building, I knew that I would be attracting curious glances. Not that I noticed them, though. I stopped in front of Ajay’s desk, who stood up surprised. His eyes had a hint of anger.

Will he understand? Will he forgive me? I knew if I thought about this at all, I won’t be able to go ahead with it.

“Yes, I will”, I said, still out of breath.

“You will?” The anger in his eyes melted, replaced by a hope that he was clearly trying to resist.

“I will marry you”. I grinned, moving forward to hug him.

“Oh no, you don’t”, Ajay said taking a step back. “You don’t walk out on me without a word. And then say yes, the next day.”

I could feel the excitement and hope apparent in my stance vanishing. A delicate, beautiful balloon hoping to float up in the skies, deflated… more like burst instantaneously.

Ajay saw the pained expression that he had glimpsed in my eyes often. Did he know by now that I would hide in my shell. Did he know I was expecting things to end badly. He had always assured me that he understood my problems from the past. And yet, he had felt an anger. No, it wasn’t anger, I convinced myself.
What he had felt the ache of his love.

“Okay, okay”, Ajay held up his hand, palms out. “Let’s go and talk about this”. He held my hand and pulled me into the conference room. Pushing me gently into a chair, he sat in front of me, held my hands and looked into my eyes, and waited.

My eyes met his for an instant, and then I closed my eyes.
Almost a minute later, eyes still closed, I said, “I went to his grave today. I told him I am leaving him.” I snapped open my eyes, searching his eyes to see if he understood.
“I had to leave him to be able before I could agree to marry you”, I continued.

Did he realize the extent of agony my possessive husband had caused me. I knew he tried to understand. I also knew that it continued to astonish him.

“And now?” he asked, ensuring that he sounded calm.

“For two years, I couldn’t garner courage to leave him. He died before I could tell him. He always said, he owned me forever. I had to leave him. And I have, now.

I smiled. He did too.

A truthful foundation for a new beginning…


  1. Nimi, tagged you in Blogadda Gillette activity in the blog post Dream into Reality

    1. Thanks, Meenal. Another activity I couldn't participate in, but loved your take on it :)

  2. Nice post's true that a new relation needs a fresh and truthful beginning...

    1. It is so peaceful to be able to tell the truth, and it is the foundation of a strong relationship...
      Thanks for reading and commenting, Arpita!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Absurd, yet so good (Book Review - David S. Atkinson's Not Quite So Stories)

Title: NOT QUITE SO STORIES Author: David S. Atkinson
Publisher: Literary Wanderlus LLC
Pages: 166
Genre: Absurdist Literary Fiction
The stories of David S. Atkinson's Not Quite So Stories are, for want of a better word, weird.
They are not your typical short stories and they are certainly not what I had expected.

So, the 'not quite so stories' are weird, atypical and unexpected. And I enjoyed reading them. Read between the lines and you'd be surprised by their depth.
Read them superficially and they are 'absurd'.

The author's dedication for this book is
"For Shannon, who graciously puts up with my absurdities and loves me anyway.
Also for every third person named Fred."

When I re-read the dedication after having read the book, it held more meaning. Thus my use of the word 'absurd'.

The stories are very well-written.
The humor, the emotions, the terror - it is all subtle.
The paradox is that everything is exaggerated and yet the underlying message is sub…

Blogging, Parenting, Nutrition... lots of fun - Blogger's Meet

#CatchUpOnGrowth - the Indimeet that launched Horlicks Growth+, discussed parenting issues, clarified many nutrition confusions, and as is common with all Indimeets, pampered bloggers and celebrated blogging.

The session started with a discussion among Dr Rajiv Chhabra (HoD of Pediatrics at Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon), Ms Satinder Kaur Walia (a psychologist), and Dr Jyoti Batra (Head Dietician at Batra Hospital). This discussion, moderated by blogger Natasha Badhwar, about nutrition for children and parenting in general was a very informative.

There was much to learn from the session. Here are lists of a few things I brought back with me...

Malnutrition has remained the same over the years, but obesity has increased. Worse still, parents are in denial.
Obesity is not only a health/medical problem. It leads to psychological issues for the child too, such as being bullied, teased, etc.

The many tips I am taking home on nutrition. Most of these are relevant, not just for children, but for ever…

The right and wrong of choices #WriteBravely

"You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both" - Brene Brown
And it is ok to choose comfort. 
This is my first instinct when I read this quote. Not because I don't feel that choosing courage is the wrong choice, but because it is implied that one should choose courage.
Ideally, we would all choose courage and lead perfect lives. 
"Life is unfair" - such a clichè and so very true. As true as the facts that the world is imperfect, the destiny is not in our control, and that life is uncertain. "You get what anybody gets - you get a lifetime" - Neil Gaiman
I think my instinctive reaction of 'it is ok to choose comfort' comes from my being a mother. I have spent years counseling my kids that at times, you choose what is right for you. 
Many a time I feel happier waiting rather than taking any immediate action. And waiting takes a lot of courage.
So, yes make the choice between courage and comfort. Choose courage even.  But decide for…