Friday, 7 October 2016

My Closest Yaar...

There are many platitudes about friendship. I have realized that some hold true for some friends, but is there anything that holds true for all the friends.
Who is a friend?

Reminds me of all those slam books we would write in… What is love? Who is a friend? And many more such profound question.
And how innocently we would fill it up.

Some of us will use famous quotations –
“A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”

The oft-used “A friend in need, is a friend indeed”… sounds so tacky now.

Some would answer with stuff like-
“Roses are red
Violets are blue
My friend is the best
And that is you”

As I read through these, I realize that I have lost touch with most of these friends. Some of them I am not even able to find on facebook.

Today, the one thing that really defines friendship for me is that it is something that stands the test of time.

Clicking the experiences -

I know it’s such a cliché to say that my sister is my closest Yaar.
So convenient, no?

Not convenient, actually.

It is a blessing to have a sister with whom you have just two years of age difference, and with whom you share interests.
Believe me, being on the ‘same wavelength’ is extremely important. I have known people whose siblings have made their growing years a real pain.

In my case, things were more or less a smooth sailing.
We discovered the joy of reading together.
The two of us would have serious philosophical discussions.
We would watch Bold and the Beautiful, and Beverly Hills 90210.
We ventured into a new way of thinking after watching Oprah Winfrey Show. And yes, many more serious discussions followed after watching this one.

Then she got married.
Things changed a little, but whenever we would meet I was in the same zone and we could grasp some of the lost magic for a time.

And I got married.
There was no more a common ground always there for when we would meet. The get-togethers at the parents’ place were so very rare, it seemed.

Almost two decades later, we are back to being best friends.

Laughing it off -

Interestingly, she’s my 11-year-old daughter’s best friend too.
Just last night, my daughter called her up at 10 at night, and blabbered on and on.
My sister was busy but made time.
And the two of us laughed about it later.

People change. Time, circumstances, and experiences (in one word, life) change them. We changed too.

It is the rediscovering each other, it is remembering the old times, it is being able to speak your mind without thinking that make for great friendships.

The fact that my closest friend is also my sister has its’ added benefit.
I have someone to fall back upon during all the celebrations in the extended family.

True friendship stands the test of time. How does one do that?
I am going to use another famous quote to answer this.
“Accept me as I am. Only then can we discover each other.”

Quotes from Nilesh Rathod's Destiny of Shattered Dreams

"All suffering is a consequence of a constant quest. A quest to follow a mirage, the mirage that is the creation of our mind, the illusion of happiness, the illusion of being loved. That is what it is. Love itself is an illusion. We misuse the word so much we forget what it means. It means nothing, because it simply does not exist. It is the destiny of the mind to seek. When it does not discover what it seeks, it gives birth to hopelessness. And given our undying spirit, from that hopelessness rises hope itself. This hope takes us to the quest all over again, churning us in an endless cycle of suffering. This cycle is called life. Suffer you will, one way or the other..."

"Children are like water; they don't much care where the stream takes them. They do nothing to avoid or follow the contours."

"Hate is a conscious emotion, but we rarely express it openly. Identifying hate in oneself is probably even more difficult than identifying love. Hate must not be confused with anger. It is very different. Hate has no reasons. Often, it just sits deep in our body, rarely expending itself in a way that we can identify. Hate must be dispensed with periodically, when the object of hate is no longer there, hate cannot thrive, and the mind becomes hollow and without purpose."