Monday, 16 October 2017

Disobedience - Parenting Struggles

The basic thought of this post comes from something I read. 
Was it a quote? Was it an article? Maybe an interview? I don't remember. 
If you have read about this, and know the source, please tell me in the comments below. Thanks.

Disobedience in children is not always a problem. 
When I discuss with other mothers about the fact that 'kids don't listen', 'they never agree to anything', etc., I often repeat 'it's good to say no'.

To survive in this cruel world, it is important to be able to say 'no', to be able to disagree, to stand one's own ground.
The first place our children learn to do that is at home. With us, the poor, clueless parents.

If our children did everything we asked them to, if they never chose to stand up against us, imagine the spineless individuals they would grow up to be.

Parenting is about teaching the little monsters to balance between the (hopefully) many yeses and few nos, and to disagree without being rude.
Parenting is also about bowing down to the younger lot often enough for them to know that we consider them as individuals and not as extensions of ourselves.
After all, there is going to be disobedience anyway. 
We may, just as well, make the best of it.


  1. You are right. They learn to say No from us. And we are the one who address it as disobedience.
    I agree, we can only try to give them the best we can.

  2. I loved this post .I think sometimes wee forget this very fact while being moms.This one is golden !...balance between the (hopefully) many yeses and few nos, and to disagree without being rude

  3. Good post, Nimi. I remember reading somewhere (like you, I can't remember where!) that our task as parents is not to train our children to be good. It's to train them up to be good adults. If we live out our lives the way we want them to imitate, it will go a long way to train them to live well in their later lives. A look at embossing folders- #5 in ProBlogger Challenge

  4. So correct.. We are the first teachers for our children. They should learn to disagree and think it is normal to do so. There is an overdose of obedient children on TV which is not so realistic. If they are not rebelling, I would say, something is not right.